Hate getting older?
Good, let that be your turning point.
When you’re over 60, you might notice your joints ache more than they used to. Sometimes you look in the mirror and wonder, “When did I get so old?"
For some of us, our kids are busy with their own lives now, and there’s a particular kind of loss that comes with that. Asking for help can still feel like bothering someone, even when you know it shouldn’t.
When you stop pretending everything is fine and acknowledge what’s really happening, even if you don’t like it, things can change. You may find you have more energy for what matters. Asking for help may stop feeling like failing. You can start making choices that fit you, not just the ones you think you should make.
From there, things can become clearer. You may see what matters, what doesn’t, and what you’re ready to build next.
This is what I help women do: notice what’s really true in their bodies and lives, stop pretending everything is fine, and rebuild from what matters most to them.
My name is Penelope
I am a 68-year-old Clinical Psychologist, mindfulness teacher, and fitness and brain health trainer.
For years, I found it hard to deal with getting older. Then one morning, I woke up and couldn't move. I had herniated discs and was in so much pain, I spent three weeks on the couch.
My daughter and I were forced to move house a few months later, and the new rent was double what we'd been paying, thanks to the rental crisis. A few days after we moved, my brother died suddenly.
My body had given out, and my income wasn't enough. Everything I had relied on for independence, staying strong, proving I didn't need anyone, was falling apart all at once.
I couldn't keep fighting or pretending everything was fine. That's when things actually started to change.
I let myself feel everything
I felt the grief of losing my brother, the fear about money, and the shame of needing help from my daughter. I didn’t try to fix it or think my way out. I simply paused and let myself feel it all.
That was when I returned to what I had taught for over 35 years but had actually stopped practising myself: mindfulness, self-compassion, functional fitness, and facing hard things honestly instead of pushing through them.
When I acknowledged things as they actually were, something changed. I asked my daughter for help instead of pretending I didn't need it. I started making choices based on what mattered to me, not just what I thought I should do.
For the first time, I was living fully, not just getting through each day.
You're not stuck here
You know all the things you should be doing for yourself. Most days, you're too tired, too busy, or too far behind to actually do them. Maybe a wake-up call's made it feel more urgent, a diagnosis, or the moment you first got called 'elderly.’
Every time you see your reflection, you might think: When did I get so old? That voice, whether it’s disgust, disappointment, or shame, can make you feel older than you really are. Trying to cover it up with ‘ageing is beautiful’ positivity doesn’t help when you don’t believe it. But there’s another way that you may find helpful.
Change starts when you stop fighting yourself and make room for whatever's actually there, the good and the hard.
Grief might still be there, but it may not overwhelm you the way it once did. Fear and frustration may linger, and you may find you have more energy for your own life. You can choose how to spend your time, build something meaningful, and speak your mind, without managing everyone else’s comfort first.
And you get to do it your way.
Holding it together, but things still don’t feel right?
You don’t have to keep pushing through on your own.
In a 1:1 therapy session, or a Whole Strength session that combines therapy with tailored fitness training, we explore what’s going on in your body, your mind and your life, and work with it rather than against it.
FROM MY BLOG
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Honest insights from the messy, meaningful, surprisingly funny side of ageing – grounded in psychology, health science, and spiritual wisdom.
Ageing Honestly Letters
Every two weeks, I write Ageing Honestly letters for women over 60 who are tired of pretending and ready for real talk. I share personal stories of moving from resistance to rebuilding, and practices to try when life gets hard.
Subscribe for insights and musings, the kind that might make you nod, laugh, and occasionally rethink everything over breakfast.
Ageing as a woman over 60 brings pain we can’t avoid, and a second kind we add by how we react. This week’s blog looks at the difference, and what can help to ease the suffering we experience.